I never thought I would experience Separation Anxiety. Boy was I wrong. After having my daughter and caring for her, my attachment became oh so real. I feel that this might have been a combination being a New mom and all my struggles to finally having a baby.
About a month and a half after having my daughter I wanted to make a quick run to Target by myself. I thought it would be nice to get out alone and felt ready. I never expected to have anxiety strike me the way it did.
On my drive to Target I was feeling excited but It also felt weird being behind the wheel. I hadn’t been doing much driving in months and so this alone felt awkward. As I approach Target I started feeling extremely nervous,I was wondering if my daughter needed me, I wasn’t focused and was having trouble parking. I finally got out of the car and went into Target.
What I thought would have been a nice hour browsing and buying trip turned into a quick, let me get out of here fast and get home trip. I went straight to item I needed, bought it and rushed out of the store. There was no stopping to look around, nothing. I went in and out the fastest I ever have.
My body felt weird as I walked back to my car. I just wanted to be back home with my daughter. The drive home felt like it took forever. As soon as I got home I went straight to my daughter (who was absolutely fine without me) picked her up and hugged her. I kept saying “my baby Mommy missed you oh so much” over and over.
I knew I wasn’t ready to venture out alone and knew I would just try again when I felt really ready. I also knew I should probably look into Separation anxiety and how to help myself with this.
It’s perfectly normal to experience these kind of emotions as long as you work on overcoming them. I found that it helped to talk to other Mommies were or had gone through the same thing. It helps to know you’re not alone. I share this story hoping it helps others too. As always if you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here to listen. Family, Friends, and strangers I am here to listen.
For those wondering if I ever made it out alone, YES!! My first successful outing was at Target. You can find the post & video here.
